Thursday, July 24, 2008

Dear Post Pregnancy Body,

Thank You, you did an amazing job creating a life. I will forever look at you in awe. That being said I need to vent! 
Who's body is this. Lets start from the top. My hair. It used to be so cute. I haven't fixed it in a month. It's time... These boobs. Oh my, you provide my son what he needs to grow. I am thankful and don't mean to sound rude but, Holy Crap! If I knew they were gonna get this big I may not have spent 6 grand to get them done. Dear God let Dr. Brothers be right about them "holding up" because they look like something off of national geographic. and nothing holds them up but, a sports bra!  and don't get me started on the raw nipples. I don't know why they call it latching on, It's more like a vice grip. I really hope they get less tender. 
 Now belly, For real. I'm only 27!  I don't think skin should sag quite yet. I am praying because I'm only a month out you will still tighten up! The stretch marks. I hate you, some may wear you proudly and be thankful. I say BOO. I will tan you and when I'm done breast feeding. Microderm and peel you away to the best of my ability. My Butt and thighs. We have some work to do. Your time has come. It's been nice knowing you but don't let the door hit you in the ass. No pun intended. OK I'm done. I do think your awesome. Incredible in fact. I'm just saying I'm a little shell shocked. I mean it's the first time I've seen a naked post pregnancy body not on a celebrity. I was non the wiser till now. I have faith. Once again we will be on the same page, and I'm not saying Bubbie wasn't worth it he was. I would do it again, but maybe not for a lot of years.

  Yours truly,

1 comment:

Pamela said...

Your body is beautiful. I still want to motorboat you. I love the blog... keep it up... laptop mommy.